There are ways to go to the state fair and there are ways not to go to the state fair. All things considered, I think we made the right choice. Although I did end up taking a lot of unnecessary pictures of cows.
And a few of pigs. But the pigs turned against me and started to riot and I had to flee to the goat pavilion. Or maybe I just got a little freaked out because they’re HUGE. And then Liz reminded me that they eat people. Maybe I watch too much Deadwood.
I have not been to the Oregon State Fair since I was 15. So, for about 7 years. Guess what? It’s almost exactly the same. Except no feathered roach clips.
It’s like an alternate universe where everything is exactly like it was in 1987 except there are no feathered roach clips. And this time your mom’s not there to tell you that you can’t get an airbrushed neck tattoo.
So we ate a corndog and some shaved ice, ‘cause we’re Americans.
But Liz and I had a Higher Purpose. You know what the best thing is about having an ever-increasing Hispanic population in Oregon? I mean besides pissing off old white people. One can now get corn-on-the-cob with queso at the Oregon State Fair. Aw yeah.
I also tried a funnel cake, on very strict instructions. My verdict? Meh. It’s no corn-on-the-cob with queso.
Speaking of pavilions (and we are speaking of pavilions), we also wandered over to the American Handicrafts Pavilion and checked out the requisite canning, quilting and abnormal vegetable displays.
They also had blue-ribbon pies.
And cake vaginas.
And of course some things really never change.
Here was the best part though.
No, silly. Not the chicken.
The fair-lift. That’s right, You can now sit on a rickety ski-lift and be flown jerkily across the entire length of the fairgrounds! And once you get over the fact that you might die, you notice that you can see everything!
Like a giant pig!
And then the sky went all “Something Wicked This Way Comes” so we took some pictures.
And in closing, The Fair has some advice for you about your manners.